- Fear of monster under the bed: A man has been visiting a therapist because he has had a fear of monsters living under his cot. The man has been seeing this doctor for months. Every time he would come in, the doctor would ask, "Have you made any progress?" Every time the man would say "No". The man decided to go and see another doctor. When he went back to his first doctor, the doctor asked, "Have you made any progress?" he said "Yes, I am feeling all better now!" The doctor asked, "What happened?" The man said, "I went to another doctor and he cured me in one session!” The doctor asked, "What did he tell you?" The man said "He just told me to cut off all four legs of my cot and leave no space for the monster".
- No Fear: The devil entered the house of an alcoholic. But the drunkard just ignored him. The surprised devil asked him"Do you know who I am?" "Why of course I know who you are," the man calmly replied. "You're Satan." "And you're not afraid of me like the others?" the devil asked somewhat puzzled. To which the drunkard replied, "No. Why should I be? I've been married to your sister for the last 25 years.
- Fear of Sunday (Author Unknown) Fwd by Rev. Deacon Gary Thibodeau) To make it possible for everyone to attend Church next Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday": a) Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in." b) There will be a special section with lounge chairs who feel that our pews are too hard. c) Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching T.V. late Saturday night. d) We will have steel helmets for those who say " The roof would cave in if I ever came to Church." e) Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot. f) Score cards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. g) Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to Church and cook dinner, too. h) We will distribute "Stamp Out Stewardship" buttons for those who feel that Church is always asking for money. i) One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature. k) Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday. l) The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the Church without them. m) We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher and cotton for those who say he is to loud.
SUNDAY PULPIT › HOMILIES & RESOURCES
OT XII [A] - Matthew 10:26-33
Homilies, reflections and PDF documents